Ashes and snow

12.50 AM, Småland, Sweden

"Dear diary."

Yet again, I am sorry for not writing in you for a while... I've been kinda' busy. I'll give you a short resumé;

Thursday - went to Jönköping and met up with Emmelie, went back to her place and had dinner together. It was nice getting to know her better, and the food was great too.

Friday - Got up, got dressed, went downtown to buy some liquor, went back to her place and started drinking. The town was full of newly graduated students, so all clubs were packed, but we went downtown anyway. I found my drunk bassplayer in a club, had a few words with him, grabbed something to eat, and then went back to Emmelie's place again for the afterparty. Fell asleep around 8 AM in the morning...

Saturday - ...and woke up around 9 AM when my alarm clock started ringing. Realized that I should be at our rehearsal space in less than 1 and a half hour. Panicked, tried to find my clothes, called basstard, felt relief when he had just woke up, drunk as hell. Chilled out for an hour, went to the rehearsal space, jammed with the band, realized they sounded fucking great together. Went back to Emmelie's place. Started drinking, got drunk, listened to music and various clips on YouTube with my drummer and my guitarist. Went to a party held by Sister's former bassplayer, Albin, and also met Dani from Sister there. Got even more drunk. Phoned Louis, and talked to her a while, felt really good and leaved me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Carried a passed-out Emmelie home, while laughing at our drummer who stood leaned against a tree, puking his guts out. Fell asleep early in the morning.

Sunday - Woke up with an awful headache. Drank a bathtub of water, at least. Got my hair cut by Emmelie, and then went back home in the evening.

So now I'm back at my parent's place again, I'm leaving early in the morning to head back to Falköping once again, and I'll probably spend the week there. Nothing planned, but I believe I'll have some catching up to do while being there, so things will probably get busy anyway. We've planned another rehearsal on Thursday this week, then on Saturday I'll maybe head down to Gothenburg together with Emmelie and our drummer, who's gonna watch AC/DC, lucky bastard... So we'll be partying at Sticky Fingers the night before, then I'll be off to Borlänge and the Peace & Love Festival on the 21st of June, spending the following week there together with friends and other misfits. Needless to say, it's gonna be one hell of a ride.

I've been feeling kinda' normal through the whole weekend, but that's probably because of the massive consumption of alcohol and other substances. When I'm back here again, I feel empty... and unemotional, even though my head and my heart is bursting with feelings. I'm getting dizzy from this ride, once more I can't handle the speed at which I'm travelling through life. The progression made through the last few days have been overwhelming in more than one way, it seems as if everyone wants a piece of either my body or my heart, or both at the same time, and as much as I'd like to give it to each and every one, it beats only for one person. I don't feel the need to tell you who, 'cause she understands I mean her when she reads this. Maybe it's just a first taste of celebrity... only I haven't figured out if it tastes good or awful yet...

Good God, bless my soul
I need a fix of rock 'n roll
Come on baby you gotta wait and see
You better hurry
To get a piece of me

Caught a lonely lady
Crying on a cigarette
I got nasty, nasty habits
And that's all she's gonna get

One for the money, two for the show
So 'round and 'round and 'round we go
Take a look at what-a you might need
You better hurry
To get a piece of me

I should try and get some sleep, but I know I can't fall asleep. It feels like something is missing out, that it is something I have forgotten about that needs to be done before I can lay down and rest. This feeling applies to pretty mych everything I do, a feeling of incomplete that I can't seem to shake. I guess it's something that I'll have to live with, since it has become a part of me already. I'm picking up bad habits fast... and I'll probably stay awake through the night, as so many times before. Missing you.

Night