05.35 AM, Falköping, Sweden"Dear diary."
Woke up from a horrible nightmare today... I'm sure I could still hear her crying even when I was sure I was fully awake... it left scars in me, scars I bear with me through every day in my life, just like all the thousands of others that are already there, messing up the surface, making strange patterns on my skin. She won't stay away from my dreams, and I can't make her go away when I awake... will I ever make her face fade away from the surface of my heart? It feels like I can't breathe...
So anyway, the day's been as usual - been doing a lot of... nothing, as usual. Decided today that I'll be going to Jönköping on Thursday to rehearse with the band, and then sleep at Emmelie's place until Friday, party with the band and the rest of the people at the beach of Lake Vättern, they're gonna have a barbecue or something like that, I really don't care as long as I'll get the opportunity to kill my brain with alcohol. Then on Saturday we'll be going down to Gothenburg as planned, I'm gonna get a little shopping done for the Peace & Love festival, then I'll be going back to Falköping early on Sunday morning, pack my stuff, then leave for Rättvik and meet up with Ronja, go back to her place and get some sleep, and then on Monday go to Falun to leave my stuff at a girlfriends place, where I'm also going to sleep and shower during the festival. God, I hate all this planning, it makes me feel nauseous... everything would be easier if I had a lot of cash to spend on such things, you wouldn't have to worry about getting someplace to sleep, you could just check in at a hotel or something like that. I'm gonna enjoy being a filthy rich rockstar in the future, to say the least...
Nothing much else to say about today... I've been feeling uneasy through the whole evening and night, and the feeling won't go away no matter what I do... at least I feel a bit better by talking to Louis, she really makes this all worth while... I miss her so bad, and I'm looking forward to seeing her again when I move into my new apartment in Borås, then we can spend the nights together... and the demons will keep quiet, finally... I never really saw this coming, even though I reached out in every direction for someone to help me escape from this hell I've been walking in, I never thought it would be her being my shining light, my guardian angel... but I couldn't have found a more beautiful girl than her, she... fuck, listen to me, the big romantic...
But at least it's true.
Pray that Tina won't haunt my dreams today, I know I will...
Night' everyone
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