Ah fuck, who am I trying to fool...5 AM, still awake... drunk, my whole body is shaking from the nightmares, my head is aching from the constant horror movie that's playing inside, over and over again until I can't breathe.
Every breath I take without you is meaningless, every step I take is a step in the wrong direction without you by my side to guide me. I want your heartbeats to be next to mine, I need to hear your breath in the darkness beside me, I need to hold my arms around you and feel your soft skin against mine. The nightmares tell me of the hopelessness, tell me that the way I feel for you is all in vain, tell me that he is so much better than me. I could give you the world, if only you loved me back. I would be your Clyde, your safety, your reason - in every way I could. Your forgiveness would be my blessing, please forgive me for not being everything I could be to you.
Forgive me for never showing you how much I really loved you, forgive me for being an idiot. forgive me for all my fucked up mistakes, forgive me for everything. I need you, my heart needs you.
I need something to knock me out so I can fall asleep.
If only you were here...
"I wanna wake up where you are."
oh gosh,
ReplyDeletejag vet inte vad jag ska skriva, jag finns här iallafall :*