Use it or lose it

5.13 PM, Borås, Sweden

Today's soundtrack;

• As I Lay Dying - the "An Ocean Between Us" album

Dear diary,

Well that's weird... for a moment there I thought I did great. But there's always a catch, right? Spent the whole day yesterday in bed, too fucked up to even try to get up and walk around a bit. Later on the evening Louis came here, she was worried about me not feeling too well. Turned out she was drunk, and I hate to be sober in the company of other drunk people, so I started drinking... which was probably a bad idea. We watched some movies, and all of a sudden I couldn't keep things together, and ended up crying in her arms. I felt like a total idiot, I shouldn't be like that in her company, it isn't fair that she has to suffer from problems I'm having with my mind. But I'm still glad she spent the night with me, it made me feel safe. I took some sleeping pills and then passed out by her side. Today she helped me bleach my hair, which is now bright red... except for that, there is nothing new. I don't know what to do tonight... I feel weird, as if there is something bad about to happen. I don't like it, at all...