What I'd give

4.04 AM, Borås, Sweden

Dear diary,

It seems like the longer I skip writing in you, the more I dread doing it the next time. Like tonight... I can't seem to find the patience or dedication to actually try to explain how I feel. Cause' it's just too surreal and fucked up to even try and explain at this point... I'll make another try tomorrow. Right now it's about damn time I get some sleep, I'm starting to feel dizzy from all the different painkillers and sleeping pills I've been taking tonight. Saw a picture of Tina in her blog today, she was posing and showing off her thin body... it's like she wants to rub it in my face... "Look, motherfucker, look at what you're missing out on". She knows I'm a sucker for thin girls, and it's no big secret that I'm still in love with the memory of us together. Fuck.

It ain't fair. Not to anyone.
And not to my girl. I'm such a failure.