Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Dirty women

5.47 AM, in the middle of nowhere, Sweden

Dear diary,

Yet another nearly-nude pic. I kinda like it like that. It gets me in the right mood, plus, my fascination for the female body is neverending. Such beatiful pieces of art, the bodies that some women carry around... A lot of my female friends have killer bodies, and all I can think of is how great they'll look without all the clothes they're wearing. I think I'll have to get rid of that habit, it's makes normal conversation so much harder...

Anyway, today's been full of... nothing, really. Woke up late, did nothing but sit on my ass in front of the screen all day. I really can't stand being here... I mean, it's great spending time with my family and all, but I feel like I just don't belong here. Feelin' a bit like E.T. Or Sting. Played some WoW, and all of a sudden it was 4 AM in the morning, and here I am. Alone.

And that's probably the worst, I'm so alone here. Noone in their right minds would take their time to get out here, and besides, there's no buses or trains that go here anyway. So that leaves it to just people with drivers licenses or someone who'll drive them here, and I don't exactly know a lot of 'em. It's strange how that works for me, at some times I could do anything to be alone, but now, all I want is to have someone to lay my arms around when I go to sleep. It has improved a lot lately, the whole "in-need-of-safety" thing. I guess it's because I've chosen this lifestyle that is so uncertain and wild that you really can't get used to being safe and sound. This is like some kind of intermission, I'm just waiting around for the next stop on this journey, and hopefully, that'll come real fuckin' soon. 'Cause I've never been fond of waiting around for things to happen. Well, time for some well-deserved (not!) sleep. Tomorrow (today) I'll try and get some things done around here, if I wake up in time... Later!

I'd fight hell to hold you.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Get your gunn

10.22 PM, in the middle of nowhere, Sweden

Pseudo-morals work real well
On the talk shows for the weak

But your selective judgements

And goodguy badges
Don't mean a fuck to me
I throw a little fit
I slit my teenage wrist
The most that I can learn
Is in records that you burn
Get your gunn, get your gunn

Dear diary,

Shit, about bloody time, 'innit? Figured I had to come back here at some point right, and even though my eyes are burning and my head is heavy, I'll take some time to spill my shit on these virtual blank pages.

I'm at home, home in Småland that is. Moved away from Borås this weekend, all that's left now is an empty apartment, and some memories that'll forever live with me. It was an era, like many before it, but this particular one has proved to be easier to let go and leave be. I'm making progress, and really fast too. A bit unused to this speed, but after a while everything'll find it's place and everything will go down just fine. So this week I'll hopefully get a letter from my school that says I got in, as soon as it gets here me and Tommy are off to Vätterhem again, and if everything works out we'll be leaving with a key in our hands. It feels great, and I'm really looking forward to living there, I mean, most of my friends live there, we rehearse there and so on...

About that... I finally figured out a name for our band, but due to "secret circumstances" I can't really tell what it is yet. But it's gonna rock when we bring this out into the eyes and ears of the public, of that I'm sure. Oh, yeah, by the way - we're still looking for a lead guitarist, know anyone? If so, please tell.

I don't really know what the fuck is going on inside my head at the moment. It's a violent storm of emotions, thoughts and feelings swirling around in there, scratching at the walls, screaming and howling so loud it makes my head hurt 24/7. But hey, I'd rather have it this way than be dead inside, a little bit of chaos just makes everything more intense. And for some strange reason, things have started to work out with pretty much everything lately. A friend of mine once told me, "Sid, you get everything you want, how do you do it?", referring to my relationships, where I'd always get the girl I wanted, even if I really didn't believe I could get her in the first place. I mean, I don't mind being the focus of attention, but please, ladies - one at a time.

Uh, I should probably try and get some sleep... feels like this could've been a more focused post, but I'm kinda' not into the mood for that. Later, perhaps.

I'm better than you, punk.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Rock is dead

07.12 AM, Borås, Sweden

Dear diary,

Woke up far too early today, but actually managed to get out of bed just 15 minutes after the alarm rang. Yay me. Will be off to Jönköping in about an hour, me and Tommy have an appointment at Vätterhem with an administrator concerning an apartment we've been looking at. Hopefully, we'll be able to move in this week, or at the end of this month, which'll be a major relief. All this traveling back and forth between Borås and Jönköping is starting to get really boring. Had a great weekend, by the way, I had a party at my place, lot of people, lot of booze. A bit of drama, but everything turned out just fine in the end.

The stress has begun tearing away at me again... and the reason is we got a gig booked the 28th of May, a mini-festival in Torsåker, Sweden. So far, we've never rehearsed with a complete band setting, and time is of the essence since we have to come up with at least 4-5 songs until then, and maybe manage to record our first demo. But I have faith in this, there's a feeling inside of me that says that this might just work out. We might just have what it takes. And I ain't gonna let a single thing in the world get between me and my dreams.

Oh well, gotta get something to eat now... later.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


10.08 AM, Borås, Sweden

Dear diary,

Duuuuuude. This isn't working out. You'll just have to get used to my absence. Things are about to get busy round here pretty fuckin' soon.