Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Lay your hands on me

2.17 AM, Jonkoping, Sweden

Today's soundtrack;

Sleeping With Sirens – Scene Three - Stomach Tied In Knots

"See the problem isn’t you, it’s me I know
I can tell, I’ve seen it time after time
And I’ll push you away
I get so afraid

And I can't live without you now
I can't even live with myself

Dear diary,

Too fucked up to write anything of importance. What difference does it make anyway... Did some moving today, so I'm sitting here by candlelight in an empty apartment. This time the walls aren't draped in memories like my past homes... the one in Vaggeryd was a black hole of pain and anguish, and the one in Borås had it's share of good memories, but also cold, black ones full of hate, fear and pain. I guess something really is dead inside. But yeah... this is it. Really moving away tomorrow, just hand in the keys and I'm gone for two weeks until it's time to move in on the 30th of November.

I guess my test results might show up this week. I'm gonna call them tomorrow and see if it's done already. Still a lot of blood coming out of places it shouldn't... also haven't been able to eat anything since yesterday, just some water. Feels like my body is shutting down on me, getting ready for it's destiny. I won't blame it. Time for a late night rendevous with some of my best friends... Mr. Benzodiazepine and Mrs.Flunitrazepam. Quite charming, really... 

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