Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Toast of the town

4.27 PM, in the middle of nowhere, Sweden

Today's soundtrack;

Deep Purple – Love Conquers All

Somewhere there's a place in your heart
Where the wounds never heal
Well you're not alone
That's just how I feel

Love conquers all
This one will last a lifetime
And if love conquers all
This one will last forever

Dear diary,

Once again, three new views from Kinna. If you're that curious, why don't you just talk to me? I won't bite. 

Not much is new. Two nights left until I move in, can't wait, life is so boring right now. Finally got an answer from my doctor, read through it real quick, but it was something about damages to my kidneys and blood counts that were way off, and that it could result in severe kidney failure if left untreated. Whatever. Got an appointment to do some more testing next week, but I think I'll just skip it.

I'm starting to get the feeling that somehow I've been set free from a prison I've been in for the last three years. I couldn't see it at first, but now the feeling is getting stronger each day. A feeling of freedom, something I've nearly forgotten how it feels. No longer is my every action influenced by her, no longer is my imagination and creativity connected to how she makes me feel. She's been holding me back for so long, and now that I've got my first taste of the freedom I've been missing out on, I'll never go back. The pain she caused, and the atrocious lies she was telling has made it easy to erase her completely from my past. I'll never get those years back again, and I'll never have someone to share them with again, but I can live with that, because it means I'll never have to deal with such a fucked up individual again. She always told me that my actions made it easier for her to forget me, and now her actions have made it easier than ever to erase her existence from my world. And she always said that I was unable to change, that I could never love with this disease inside my head, but it turns out the reason I couldn't was her. You can't love someone who doesn't believe in your love, and maybe she really wasn't worth the trouble of finding the passion again anyway. Besides, there's a new face in my mind keeping me busy with it's beauty. Can't wait to see her.

Until next time.


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