Thursday, November 1, 2012

Sing me back home

02.02 AM, Jonkoping, Sweden

Today's soundtrack;
Alter Bridge – Watch Over You

Snow is on the ground
Winters come
You long to hear my voice
But I'm long gone 

Dear diary,

Pardon my absence, I've been keeping busy down at the farm, which is not the right place to write in you. Physical work makes me tired enough to fall asleep early, and though it doesn't stop the nightmares, it gives me more sleep than usual. Not much is new, except that I'm getting out of my apartment on the 15th on November, great news. That means I'll be getting a portion of my rent back, sorely needed right now since I'm already selling everything I have of value to pay all the bills. Can't keep this up forever, sooner or later the bills are gonna stack up and I'll be back in debt for another three years. So sick of this, just give me a job...

Also having trouble finding an apartment in Borås, time is not on our side right now, but I'm determined on moving in on the 1st of December, whatever it takes. I've stopped hoping that she would actually see me then, a month from now is a long time, and she has probably found someone else by then, if she hasn't already now. I don't even know why I want to see her again, we both know we can never be together, but it's just one of those situations where you gravitate towards another person without being able to avoid it. There's new people in my life as well, and maybe I won't be single then myself, not that it would stop her from seeing me since she has no feelings left, and hasn't been having any for a long time as well...

I'm restless tonight, as every night. There's nothing or no one here to keep my mind busy, so it takes control by itself... and we all know what that means...

Damn right we do... I'm coming for you. 

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