Saturday, August 1, 2009

Walk with me in hell

8.51 AM, Borås, Sweden

Today's soundtrack;
  • a lot of Nine Inch Nails
  • psytrance, GMS especially
  • AC/DC - everything with Bon still alive
Dear diary,

Haven't been writing for a day now, not to unusual. An to be honest, now isn't a good time either since I'm so tired I'm starting to hallucinate, and the things I hear and see are frightening. There's absolutely nothing worth telling about what's been going on since last I wrote in you, cause' that's what's been going on. Nothing. A whole lot of it. I miss my girl, she comes back from her stay at some camp today, and maybe I'll get to see her tonight. I miss falling asleep next to her, it keeps the nightmares away.

Oh... uh... yeah... how have I been feeling, you might wonder? Good, real good, thank you.

That was a lie. I didn't even try to make it sound like the truth. I've been having constant anxiety attacks, nightmares and the paranoia is back with full force. Even going down to the store to buy cigarettes is tough, cause' that means I have to expose myself to other people. Bipolar syndrom, schizophrenia, manic-depressive... and now social phobia? This just keeps getting more and more desperate... I'm actually surprised I've made it this far. Life's full of surprises, as they say.

I can't see straight, so I'll just get back to you when I'm done dreaming all those nightmares...

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