Wednesday, June 10, 2009

All lips 'n hips

03.05 AM, Småland, Sweden

"Dear diary." (see, I went back to the " " marks again!)

It is no surprise that I once again find myself faced in front of a crossroad, or more like standing in the middle of one, with multiple roads to choose from. Not one of the roads is the other one alike, they all lead to different destinations... some are surrounded by nothing but sun-drenched fields, blue skies and a warm breeze that welcomes you while travelling onwards, but some are spotted with stains of blood under a dark, watery sky with a thunderstorm approaching in the distance. I know that whatever road I choose, it will be a long journey, and I might not even make it there. But the final question still remains - which road do I choose? The decision I make will undoubtedly make other people, people close to me, disappointed or sad in one or another way. And even though people think I'm an unsensitive bastard without emotions or feelings, the truth is I hate to hurt peoples feelings... I fuckin' can't stand it.

I should be asleep now, tomorrow's a busy day. I'm going in to Jönköping to meet up with the band, the whole band this time, including our lead quitarist, and we're gonna sit down and discuss our future. And to be honest with ya - it looks brighter than the fuckin' sun itself. You'd better have some pretty good sunglasses when we set off, 'cause there won't be a brighter shining star on the sky for a long time ahead. The only doubts I have are of myself being able to handle the prominent position of a lead singer. I have serious trouble finding my own voice, as I'm constantly trying to make it sound as other singers I idolize and look up to. But I guess that will work itself out in the end. We're all a bunch of idiots, so I'm in good company... or bad company, depends on how you put it...

Also, I'll be meeting Caroline tomorrow by noon to grab a cup of coffee and talk about the past and whatnot. It could end in any way, really. I'm off to bed now, have to get myself at least a few hours of sleep, but with a quarter of rum and coke in my belly, that's gonna work out just fine...

When I dream, I dream of you.
When I'm awake, I still dream of you.
I can't tell you enough how I feel for you,
but if one thing, my feelings are true.

Night everyone...

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