Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Sober and irrelevant

05.00 AM, Falköping, Sweden

"Dear diary."

I'm writing in you today with the intention of keeping things short, but who knows what flashes of insight might hit me...

Today (read "yesterday") has been worthless. Went back here early in the morning, fell asleep and slept the whole day, woke up in the evening, played a little Warcraft with some friends... and that's pretty much it. I feel tired and worn-out, uninspired and pretty much fed up with everything about my situation right now. I want to get out of this place, move, so I won't have to put up with the constant irritation that the people around here is causing. I know it's not really their fault, it's just the way they are, but the things they do (or don't do, really) irritate me to the point when I'm ready to freak out and rail them out totally. I have always felt the need to be alone at least a couple of hours every day, and I can't get that privacy here. I need my own castle to reside in, where I can let my true self out without having to wear any protective mask or false facades. First then I can try to evolve myself to the next level of consciousness.

As I mentioned earlier, no plans for the week. Nora said she wanted to visit, but I don't know if she will, her boyfriend doesn't like me spending time with her... and I can understand that, considering our past mistakes. Today's highligt has been a text message I recevied a couple of hours ago from Louis that almost made me start crying. If you're reading this baby, know that you make me the happiest man alive when you say things like that.

Uh... I really have nothing else to say... or maybe I do, but I can't seem to figure out just what it is. Oh yeah, I'm all sober. No pills, no alcohol, no drugs. Sometimes I'm good.

I feel an anxiety attack approaching... so much for perseverance...

Night everyone.

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