Tuesday, September 22, 2009

What if I'm a sinner

1.30 AM, Borås, Sweden

Today's soundtrack;
  • Fireflight - Wrapped In Your Arms
Dear diary,

For some reason I've started to get tired earlier and earlier on the nights. I can't stay up all night long like I used to do, instead I just sleep and sleep and sleep... and I still wake up tired. Maybe I've lost something inside, something that used to fill me with energy and motivation. Maybe it's just the time of the year that brings you down. I don't know. I wasn't planning on making a post here tonight, to tired to find the words for what's been plaguing me lately. But see this as a start, or something like that. A foreword... I'll fill you in with more details later today, 'cause now I'm off to bed. Later.

8.24 PM

So far so good. I'm feeling rather well, thank you. Except for a slight feeling of loneliness, the whole "shut down everything and start over again" is going as planned. I might just be able to handle this nicely. Not much going on at the moment, my life's very dull and uninteresting, against my will, of course. I'm looking for things to do, something to really put some effort into. The way things look now, I've got two bands to write material for, and a scheduled rehearsal in two weeks with the glam/sleaze band from Jönköping, really looking forward to it. Our new drummer seems to be a real nice guy with the same goals and taste in music, so maybe things will turn out better this time. Other than that, me and Sebastian have talked about getting a band together here in town, but nothing's been decided yet. All in all, it feels like music is becoming an even greater part in my life, and it feels fucking great.

I'm finding it hard to talk about more serious matters... it feels like I would ruin everything if I start thinking about everything... but let's just say some interesting things have happened the last few days. I'm not sure if I should go into details, but something I never expected to happen has happened, though I'm uncertain about the purpose of it. Ah, hell, I should probably stay quiet about that for now. I met Louis today, we headed into town and had a cup of coffee and just talked about everything. It feels good to see her in a way, that we can actually spend time together without focusing on what has happened. That gives me confidence that we can have a friendly relationship in the future. Tonight's going to be as unsatisfying as usual, I'll probably just sit here alone and wish someone would come here and keep me company through the night... but no one does. I guess I'm becoming the alien I never wanted to be, ever. Just great.

But... yeah... whatever. In lack of more shit to spill on these pages, I'll just end this. Later.

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