Monday, May 18, 2009

I must be dreaming

04.35 AM, Falköping, Sweden

Dear diary.

What a skeletal wreck of man this is. Translucent flesh and feeble bones, the kind of temple where the whores and villains try to tempt the holistic tomes. Running rampant with free thought to free form in the free and clear. And the matters at hand are shelled out like lint at a laundromat to sift and focus on the bigger, better... now.

We all have a little sin that needs venting, virtues for the rending and laws and systems and stems a rift from branches of office, do you know what your post entails?
Do you serve a purpose, or purposely serve? Wind down inside of your atavistic allure, the value of a Summer spent and a Winter earned.For the rest of us there is always Sunday. The day of the week that reeks of rest but all we do is catch our breath so we can wade naked into the bloody pool and place our hand on the big black book. To watch the knives zig-zag between our aching fingers.

A vacation is a count-down - T minus your life and counting, time to drag your tongue across the sugar-cube and hope you get a taste. What the FUCK is all this for?!

(What the hell's goin' on?!)

SHUT UP!!

I could go on and on, but, lets move on shall we?

Say, you're me and I'm you and they all watch the things we do and like a smack of spite they threw me down the stairs - haven't felt like this in years - the great magnet of malicious magnanamous refuse... let me go and plunge me into the dead spot again. That's where you go when there's no-one else around, it's just you and there was never anyone to begin with now was there? Sanctomonious pretentious dastardly bastards with their thumb on the pulse and a finger on the trigger...

CLASSIFIED MY ASS! That's a FUCKING secret, and you know it!

Government is another way to say -

Better

Than

You.

It's like ice but no pick, a murder charge that won't stick, it's like a whole other world where you can smell the food - but you can't touch the silverware.

Hah, what luck - fascism you can vote for... isn't that sweet...

And we're all gonna die some day 'cuz thats the American way, and I've drunk too much, and said too little, when your gaffer taped in the middle, say a prayer, save face, get yourself together and (see what's happening)

SHUT UP! (FUCK YOU!)

FUCK YOU!

I'm sorry I could go on and on, but it's time to move on so...

Remember - you're a wreck, an accident, forget the freak, you're just nature. Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean, shit, snort and blaspheme. Let the heads cool and the engine run...

Because in the end, everything we do, is just everything we've done...

------------------------------------------------------------------------

06.40 AM

I remember when we were angels. We were unstoppable, the prettiest couple in the world. Together we were immortal. Our hearts beat in unison, right next to each other. I lied down each night beside you, feeling like there was no other place on earth I'd rather be. But then came the storms, and we were washed away from each other, lost our grip.

I still see that fire inside us when I watch that photo. You had your pink hair back then, our lips are pressed together in a passionate kiss, the sunrays reflect in the lens, and we were at the top of our relationship. We were angels.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

08.30 AM

If hell was raised on earth, this is what it would be like. Living each day in fear of your own mind, a mind that's plotting against you, wanting to kill you. Please, take my hand and pull me out of my misery. You wanted to help people, I read it... I'm a mess, and I could use some assistance right now. I can't stand this place anymore, I want to get out, I need to escape...

I didn't just hear that. You didn't just tell me that. Who? Stop talking. Now.


Oh, hi Diary. Just wanted to tell you that the weekend has been calm. Nothing to report. Still missing, still miserable. Still loving, still waiting, still wanting you.

I'm drifting away again... maybe this time I can sleep, and never wake up again. I'd be doing everyone the greatest favor ever...



1 comment:

  1. Sid, wth is happening to you?

    ReplyDelete