Thursday, March 5, 2009

Sleepless Again

Ah fuck, who am I trying to fool...

5 AM, still awake... drunk, my whole body is shaking from the nightmares, my head is aching from the constant horror movie that's playing inside, over and over again until I can't breathe.
Every breath I take without you is meaningless, every step I take is a step in the wrong direction without you by my side to guide me. I want your heartbeats to be next to mine, I need to hear your breath in the darkness beside me, I need to hold my arms around you and feel your soft skin against mine. The nightmares tell me of the hopelessness, tell me that the way I feel for you is all in vain, tell me that he is so much better than me. I could give you the world, if only you loved me back. I would be your Clyde, your safety, your reason - in every way I could. Your forgiveness would be my blessing, please forgive me for not being everything I could be to you.

Forgive me for never showing you how much I really loved you, forgive me for being an idiot. forgive me for all my fucked up mistakes, forgive me for everything. I need you, my heart needs you.
I need something to knock me out so I can fall asleep.
If only you were here...

"I wanna wake up where you are."

1 comment:

  1. oh gosh,

    jag vet inte vad jag ska skriva, jag finns här iallafall :*