Tuesday, March 24, 2009

That ghost is breathing again

04.00 AM, Falköping, Sweden

"Dear diary."

Maybe I should stop writing that. Still doesn't feel good. Or get myself a real diary.
I'm gonna try to keep this one short today, mostly cause' today has been a real wasted day. Nothing has been happening at all... woke up... felt hungover even though I didn't drink much yesterday... got dressed and went downtown with Erik and had a coffee, went back, fell asleep, woke up again and now I'm sitting here again. Is anyone seeing a pattern here? Ah, hell...

I have an appointment at the job centre at 9 AM so we'll see if that takes me any closer to starting studying. As much as I enjoy the freedom of not having a job, it kinda' gets real boring in the long run. Being constantly broke, and when you have money, you just waste it all on alchohol and other forms of entertainment. So I'm feeling like I'm going nowhere, and I'm going there fast. I won't allow myself to get stuck in this gray matter like some star who forgot how to shine. I'll break free, even if it takes my life, i'll break the chains and run free.

I'll be writing in you again soon, diary. Things are about to get dramatic in my life, and I know it's your dirty little dream to see me sitting here, crying, freaking out while abusing pills and alcohol. If i didn't know better, I would easily fall in love with you just for your ability to listen and shut the fuck up while doing it.
Night' everyone

So say hello to all the boys at the top of this table that you're under
Lipstick lullabies
This is sorry for the last time
And baby I understand that you're making new friends
This is how you get by
The moral this time is
Girls make boys cry

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